You don't even know.

I'm faced with "what ifs" all the time. I want to feel good enough for you. I want to be more than enough, and that you don't need another person. I want you to want me for my heart. I want you to want every flaw and every imperfection I posses. 

I need you to see me and see what I see. I need you to make me feel like when I give you my heart, it's safe. I don't know.. I want you to kiss me like you don't want anyone else. I want you to look at me with those eyes of yours that I love and tell me I'm exactly what you want.. 

I'm gonna lose myself in you. I'm letting go of all my fears as you tear down the walls around my heart. I already feel myself falling more and more.  I mean yeah, I like the feeling. I absolutely love feeling like someone will catch me when I fall this time but I'm also scared. If you aren't gonna hurt me, then the feeling is okay to me.

It's as if you're in my head reading every thought as I form it. You know exactly what to say, when to say it, and just how to make me feel better. It's so different. I want to be different from every other girl for you. I guess I just want to be someone to you. 

I question my heart and my motives daily. I'm pretty sure I want something out of this but sometimes I have doubts. Am I strong enough to not push him away? Can I keep your heart long enough before you walk away? These are just a few. 

It's when you dig into my heart for answers to my past that really get to me. I mean I tell you but when we fight, that really tears me up inside. You learn more and more about me, and I know things about my past aren't the best, but I still need to know it's okay. 

I really don't have any intention of leaving you. I see you leaving me all the time. I see it and I feel it. I see your feelings disappear with each day passing by. I don't see your face light up when you see me anymore. I don't see that smile with heart in it that you promised was there..

You just can't even see what you do to my heart. You could tear, rip, or throw it away and you don't even see that. The way my heart is filled by you every day. The way you fill my face with a smile and just a smile from you can make my day. You can't even see it. You wonder if I care or you question how I feel. There is no question or no doubt in my mind of the way I feel.

One day you'll see that.