MISERY.

It's pain. It's sorrow. It's a tear rolling down thy cheek. It's a heart broken with pieces shattered on the floor. It's a person having a bad day. It's depression. It's misery. It's a little kid who just lost his favorite toy. It's tragedy.

So, where do you go from here/ How do you move on from this? How do you live with a broken heart? How do you pick yourself up off the floor? How do you survive crying yourself to sleep every night? How do you get everyone to quit calling you stupid? How do you get out of the hole you dug yourself into so deep? Well, honestly you don't. The pain will never go away. It may lessen, but it will never completely leave your body. It will sit inside you and you will carry it around with you. It's a burden on your shoulders. It's a pit in the middle of your stomach twisting and turning, and it's something you can't get rid of. It makes you sick, it makes you tremble, and it hurts because you love the feeling. It's a terrible feeling but a good feeling at the same time. It hurts but you can finally feel something again. The feeling of numbness goes away.

Reaching the end of your path, it's a feeling everyone wants to feel. Everything becomes different in your head. Everything becomes clearer. A broken heart doesn't get any easier on anyone. It blurs your vision because all you can do is cry. It makes your body go numb. It makes your heart ache. Losing someone is the worst feeling in the world. Losing someone who meant the world to you is even worse. You can't help how the other person feels, and you most likely can't help how you feel. There's a saying, people come in and out of your life for a reason, but sometimes there isn't a reason. Another saying, everything happens for a reason, isn't true either. Everyone who says they believe that is a bunch of crap. Not everything happens for a reason because you'll never find that reason.

Tearing down the walls you built around your heart is something people do for safety. You have to protect your heart. Then, someone comes along & tears down those walls. Now what? You're crazy about this person & they leave you. The walls are on the floor, you're heart is with them, & you have an empty feeling in your chest. Now what? You walk around depressed? Right. That doesn't sound like a very good idea. Everyone wants to be happy, and looking for love and happiness in all the wrong places. Control your mind, Keep hold of your heart, and Never fall for someone. This never leads to anything good.

I used to have such a positive outlook on life. I used to be happy, smiley, nice, and independent. I lost all of these qualities and trying to get them back is the hardest thing you'll ever go through in your life. Gaining back someone's trust is hard. Loving someone who manipulated your mind is hardest. Caring about someone who could give a shit about you hurts worse. Everything hurts on a certain level, where others hurt worse. It's a feeling that doesn't compare to anything in this world. The promises you made, and the bond you once shared. It's gone, along with every other feeling in your body.