FALLING, CRASHING, BURNING.

Do you know what it's like to have a million things running through your mind all at one time?Not knowing what you want, or any idea of what to do. It drives you nuts because you don't know what to do anymore. You don't want to speak to anyone. You feel lost & confused. You feel miserable & sad at the same time. You wanna cry & fight at the same time. A smile is forced upon your face because you don't want anyone to see you miserable. It's fighting inside your body & pushing it's way out. It's the demons inside your head telling you to give up & to stop fighting. Just to give up because you'll NEVER win. You might as well not even try because you don't have a chance in this world..

Well, I say I can do it.

I will fight.

I will smile.

I will beat this down inside of me.

I will come out on top.

I will overcome the fight inside of me telling me to give up.

I can do anything I put my mind to.

I've become a strong person because I put myself through pain. I thrust myself out into the battle between myself & the emotions all in my mind and my heart. My mind knows what's best for me but my heart knows what I want. I learned how to fight against the emotions inside of me. I learned how to speak to people & reach inside of them & pull out the good.

I will not fall.

I will not crash.

I will not burn.

I will not fail.

I will not quit.

I will come out on top. I will survive the battle everyone fights with them self. I survive the battle I fight with myself everyday. I will fight the battle that tells me I'm stupid for fighting what I believe in. I believe that one day I will get what I want & it will be exactly how I pictured it. I believe that no matter what, you'll always have one person to lean on. I also believe that everything happens for a reason, & it may take a while to find that reason. But eventually, you will find that reason & be thankful for everything you went through. My strength is almost gone, but I will still carry on. I'll find that person who will be there for me through it all. I'll find that person who loves unconditionally & forgives every mistake I make. I'll become the person I want to be & everyone will realize who I am.

I don't know who I am without you. I don't know if I can stand without you. Every time I hear your name, my heart starts racing. Every time someone says your name, I think they're talking about you but it's a completely different person. Every time I think of your face, my stomach starts to hurt. Every time before I see you, I get butterflies. Every time I think of how you hurt me, I want to throw up. Every time I think of the things you say to me, my head starts to hurt. Every time I think of how you used to kiss me, my heart begins to hurt. Every time I think of our memories together, I start to cry. It's moving on that's the hard part, and I find it emotionally impossible. I want to lie on the ground & never get back up. But somewhere inside me, I find the hope & strength to once again fight for you the way I want you to fight for me.