MOVING ON.

"You're the killer of my heart & love, but the reason why I write the way I do."
-Amanda Wolsefer.

It's been 5 months now, & I'm finally realizing the truth. You were one big lie. You were one big heartbreak & I'm leaving that in my past. I don't need you to survive. I don't need you at all actually. I can't just be in your life, & we both know that. It was that one place I wanted to fill but that wasn't how it was for you. I'd never found someone who made me feel the way you did. You changed me for the better, & I promise I'll never forget everything you'd taught me. But, I'm leaving you in the past & everything that happened with us. I can't carry it around on my shoulders everyday. It's a burden seeing your face everyday. It breaks my heart seeing you with someone else, but that's life. You couldn't find it in your heart to love me back, so I'll find it in my heart to not love you anymore. I'll find it in me to not get jealous because it never bothered you when I was all over other guys. I won't fall this time. I won't crawl back to you again. I'm growing up & realizing the person you really are. I have to do this for myself. I don't know who I am anymore, but I'm going to find out. I don't need you to complete me. I don't need you to survive. I can live without you & I'm going to. I really hope you find that "someone" you talk about in your future. But, I do know what's right in front of me. I do, & I promise one day you're gonna know too. But for now, What's done is done. It can't be made up.


Moving on are two words with the toughest meaning in this world. It's not a joke, it's nothing done with a smile, & it's definitely never been something easy. It becomes harder everyday but then it starts to get a little easier. You put the past out of your mind & look forward to a brighter future. It makes the weight on your mind lessen & it gives you peace. Not talking to each other can be difficult, but you learn to deal with it.

Five months seems like a short time, but I can't believe I wasted my time for that long over one stupid thing that I knew from the beginning wouldn't go anywhere. Every time someone told me I was stupid, I fought for you & took up for everything I believed we had. Wow, don't I feel stupid. I didn't deserve this & I didn't deserve your games. You played with my emotions & knew exactly how I felt. You messed with my head, and I swear I'm gonna hate you one day. But for now, I'm trying what you want. It's always been whatever you wanted. I guess I just couldn't say no to you but I'm learning. You took advantage of me, you really did. No matter how many times you wanna say you're bullshit line, that wasn't what it was & we both know it. So, when you finally realize this, I hope it hurts you as much as it hurt me.


Bye.